The Living End

I started off in my Web Design class all happy and excited to be learning something new, and being half-way intelligent and all grown up, I thought I could manage to learn this just fine from books and doing the work.  I end the class feeling mostly disappointed that, even though I spent more time and effort on this class than I have since that horrific “Basic” Reference class last semester, I have failed to reach my goal of a good, working website.

I read the texts and added a bunch of supplemental information that I spent a lot of time researching to try to build and understanding of how Web Design actually works.  I can say that I am no longer intimidated by HTML.  I did as I was supposed to do and wrote my blog, posted on the discussion boards, sent a practice site through WINscp to create the link with USF and so on and so forth.  I called and spoke with the USF IT desk so often that I feel like I know a number of them personally and sadly, they recognize me and my site by now.  I finally went directly to the IT desk in Tampa with my laptop and spent a couple of hours trying to figure out what was wrong with it.  It took three of them and there are still many, many issues.  I spent weeks of my time getting help from my friend who has her MIT and actually blew the entire site off the Dreamweaver program twice and rebuilt it from the ground up.  Even she cannot figure out what the problem is since she does this through GoDaddy on a regular basis!  If there was credit given for effort, I would absolutely get one big fat A for the effort, for sure!  Sadly, I think my grade will mostly rely on actually getting the Web Site to work, and in this I feel like an abysmal failure. 😦  I can only equate the whole thing to trying to catch a very slippery fish in a large pool without any equipment.  I get my hands around it and have it for a moment, then it all slips away!  I go through the process of changing the section I am working on in Dreamweaver the downloading it over the USF.  I am doing this for each and every single miniscule change.  Then I check to be sure the change actually appears on the site.  It does!  YEAH.  However, when I go back next time, the change I made is gone, so I do it again, and again , and again, and AGAIN!!!  I’m not blaming my computer, but I’m thinking, WTF, could there be a problem with the computer itself?  I am frustrated and unbelievably tired of it.  As persistent and stubborn as I am, I will strive never to put myself through this amount of stress for a single class ever again.

Philosophically, I am trying hard to listen to my mentor who keeps telling me that I should not take  all of this to heart the way I do.  She keeps telling me that I should try to keep in mind that it is only the final piece of paper that will matter.  No one will care what my grades were after I have the degree.  The problem is that I care.  I know, I know, in a 100 years not one single person will care or even know anything about what I went through to get here, but I care, and that’s the problem.  I have cried and screamed and threatened to throw my damned laptop out the window, but I’m at the core stubborn and hopeful and continue to try to catch this damned fish!  If I ever try to learn anything techy like this again, you can bet your last dollar that I will not take the instruction as a distance learner.  I need way more support to learn this at this stage of my experience and competence.

So, This is my final post for this class and I learned a few things about me and about Web Designing.  I know that it’s not my thing.  I’m a good manager, and like Rockefeller, I don’t have to know everything, I just have to surround myself with the people that do!



About Barbara Gaddy

I'm an Income Property Acquistion Specialist. I guide and train new and inexperienced investors in acquiring and managing income property in order to create long-term, passive income. I also hold a Master's Degree in Library and Information Science and an Honors BA in English and American Literature. I have a business blog here: This is my personal blog. I hope you enjoy it.
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2 Responses to The Living End

  1. petra says:

    where’s the site Barbara?!

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